Tuesday, 12 January 2010

The law really is an ass


Who knew that I would ever discover a newfound respect for one of that group I normally consider so loathsome – a celebrity. The individual in question is Myleene Klass, all the more surprising because I considered her personality so lightweight and saccharine. It appears that she has more balls than first thought.

If newspaper reports are to be believed, Ms Klass scared away intruders on her property by banging on the window and brandishing a knife. Considering she’s a young woman and was in her own home with a young child to look after, I would have thought it was an action to be commended. All the poor woman actually got was a warning from the coppers that her action could be constituted as carrying an offensive weapon. The audacity of the woman – trying to defend herself, her child and her property from trespassers (potential thieves, rapist and murderers).

I can’t even take any comfort from knowing that so-called celebrities get treated the same as us mere mortals: my blood boiled equally hot when several fine members of law enforcement treated me like an idiot.

On calling them when some punk tried to break into my block of flats (not a mistake I will make again), they tried to treat me like the criminal: taking down my details and telling me where to stand. They then tried to suggest that it was simply someone else who lived in the (four-unit) building that I don’t know. That must have been why he was trying to force the door and ran away when I screamed at him.

I utilised great restraint to stop myself confirming that I knew the three other occupiers in the block that I have lived in for six years; instead, I asked how long I would have got if I had held him off with some Chemical Mace. I know it’s illegal, but what else am I supposed to do when three gormless coppers tell me there’s nothing they can do? Do their job for them is what I say – what’s wrong with a bit of vigilantism in the right circumstances?

It seems that the story of people becoming victims is more acceptable in the news than that of people defending themselves.

It’s no wonder that our prisons are overflowing when we seem to care more about criminals that we do about the victims of crime. In fact, people are actually going to jail for defending themselves against criminals. Yes, I know the law, I studied it – more fool me! – and know all about reasonable force. Screw that for a game of soldiers: if someone wants to try to break into my home then they deserve to get beaten within an inch of their lives (baseball bat, if you’re asking – “it’s not an offensive weapon, guv. I play a spot of rounders at the weekend”).

Much like the story about the escaped convict who taunted police via Facebook – ah, the benefits of social networking – the case of Ms Klass is just another one of those stories that make the police look ridiculous.

With her husband away, I can only imagine how scared she must have been. Keep your knife to hand, I say. When it comes to the crunch, you can only rely on yourself. Read more by Shermaine.