If there is only one thing you need to know about me, it is that I’m not a morning person. Having to get up in the morning is one of the banes of my life, and every day that I don’t have to do it is a good day.
Nevertheless, as much as I hate it, I still do it when it is necessary.
Were it possible for me to be fine and fragrant the moment I rolled out of bed then I’d be laughing but, alas, that is not the case. I make time to get ready, because I have enough respect for my fellow Londoners not to leave my house looking like the love child of a troll doll and a gremlin.
It takes a lot of time and effort to get me looking decent enough to leave the house, but I get out of my bed so that I have enough time to do it. To me, it is a common courtesy but, apparently, this isn’t a belief shared by all.
There’s a reason why I keep my grooming rituals confined to my home and it isn’t just because it ain’t pretty. It’s also because there are just come things that need to be kept private. Whether it is applying make up or shaving your legs, there a some things that a woman needs to keep to herself, not undertake on a tube carriage or a train platform. Yep, I said women, because women appear to be the worst culprits. I know we have more maintenance to undertake but that should be no excuse for letting everyone see it.
Don’t get me wrong; I’ve seen men acting in a disgusting manner as if they believe themselves to be invisible. Most notably was a man who felt it necessary to pick his teeth by shoving his finger into his mouth as though searching for gold. And they do love rearranging their junk (or maybe checking that it’s still there). I don’t want to see the things that people should keep to themselves, whether they be male or female. This is an equal opportunity rant.
I do not want to see other women dragging at their faces in the process of applying make up as though they’re in the privacy of their own bathrooms. Call me picky, but I don’t want to be covered in foundation powder and I hate the smell of nail varnish. I shouldn’t have to be assaulted in this manner.
I’m well aware that the media have a lot to do with it, making women think that we can only look good by using all the lotions and potions we can find. Don’t believe the hype, people! It’s all airbrushing – don’t be swayed by it. In any case, many women I’ve seen look a lot better without all the slap that they insist on wearing. This helps when it comes to the common argument of needing to use public areas because “I don’t have enough time in the morning”. Do without, and save both time and money.
We shouldn’t all have to be subjected to it. Get out of bed earlier so that you have enough time for your morning ablutions, change out of the pyjamas, shave everything that needs it, spray on the smellies and slap on the war paint. Alternatively, go to war without it. Whatever you do – keep it to yourself. Not least because being choked by a cloud of perfume isn’t fun for anyone. Read more by Shermaine.
