Grumpy single gal WLTM: an age appropriate man

JUDY JOHNSON

Every girl likes to be approached by a man on a night out, don’t they? Even if you’re not single, it’s probably nice to know you’ve still got it. If you are single, it’s exciting to meet someone, right?

What if that man is pushing 50 (or 60 but tried Botox), has a big enough beer gut that he can’t remember what his toes look like and yet still thinks he’s God’s gift to women? Thought so.

This is what happens to me on a regular basis. I am only 25; I don’t think it’s unreasonable to hope for men aged 30-ish and under to approach me instead of middle-aged balding ones who may or may not be having a mid life crisis. What’s even worse is that these ageing, leering, old-enough-to-be-a-granddad men are getting in the way of the good ones.

Recently, a friend and I were out in Soho having a long overdue catch up and a few cocktails. Sat at a table big enough for four, I’d been hoping the very cute guy who was sitting a few tables away with his friend would maybe come over and strike up conversation; and even if he didn’t, it wasn’t a bad view.

Well, he might have come over if it weren’t for two old (at least 50, easily) men who decided to come and chat us up. Chat. Us. Up. It was embarrassing. One was more talkative than the other, both stank of whiskey, and neither would take the hint that we wanted them to please leave, now. Question after question came, which we politely answered with as many not-so-subtle ‘please leave us alone’ lines as possible. Old men; maybe it’s not clear, but the following are not invitations to continue bothering us:

‘We’re just having a good catch up because we haven’t seen each other for ages.’

‘We don’t want to dance, because like we said, we’re busy catching up at the moment.’

‘No, I don’t want another drink. No, really. No, I don’t want to try yours.’

Why do fifty-something guys who are – I assume – single, think that it’s perfectly acceptable to chat up a girl who is young enough to be their daughter? Why do they think they have a chance? Why do they not realise that it just makes them look like a pervert and makes us feel uncomfortable?

I’m not against talking to older men. I love listening to their life stories, hearing about where they’ve travelled, and generally learning something from them. I do this often with my granddad. But that doesn’t mean I want them to come up to me in a dark club, put their slimy hand on my bare knee and make bad jokes through a mist of alcohol breath.

 

So, a plea to older men – pick on someone your own age. I’m sure you’re lovely really, and any hot 50 year old woman would love to meet you. I, on the other hand, want to meet the young man I’ve been looking at all night who isn’t reading my ‘Help us!’ eyes as well as I’d hoped. Read more by Judy.