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| ALICE LINLEY-MUNRO |
It’s not that I hate people being in love, and I’m not a bitter old spinster, but Valentine’s Day really gets on my wick. Quite apart from the shops going overboard with utter tat and radio stations filling endless airplay with sick-making ‘Snufflepuss loves Bunnywun’ messages, it’s the ungrateful and OTT nature of it all that makes me want to kill myself.
Expectations go through the roof and the greetings card companies rub their hands together in glee as they peddle crap to the masses, all under the banner of ‘being in love’. Of course it’s not just the blatant commercialism that does it for me; it’s the competitiveness of it all. If I have to hear another person – and let’s face it, it’s normally a woman – complaining about getting a crap present, I’ll scream and batter them to death with a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
I don’t understand why some women feel it’s acceptable to judge their boyfriend/husband/rent-a-willy on how he behaves on one day out of 365. I think some women set their boyfriends up to for a fall by heaping so much expectation on them, and woe betide him if he doesn’t do as much to declare his Valentine love as her best friend’s boyfriend did...
I just don’t consider Valentine’s Day to be the be all and end all of a romantic year. I’d much rather my (non-existent) boyfriend did little things all year round like de-ice my windscreen on a frosty morning or make dinner after I’ve had a hard day, than spank a load of his wages on overpriced roses come the 14th Feb.
I realise I might be alone in the feeling that it’s just a normal day, but I know I can’t be alone in wishing that the squeaky little women who bitch and moan about their deficient boyfriends would shut the funk up. I once had a friend who was heard complaining loudly about her boyfriend having bought her a very expensive designer watch – because she’d actually wanted a handbag. She was one step away from stomping about screeching “Daddy! I want a golden goose!”
I thought this behaviour might make her boyfriend think twice about ever buying her anything again. Sadly, though, he capitulated, and not only did she get an expensive designer handbag, it matched the expensive designer watch she also kept. She used to recount the story with a roll of the eyes as if she expected people to chuckle along with her about her silly boyfriend and his pathetic idea of a present!
Perhaps I have much lower expectations of it because I’ve never received a Valentine’s Day card or present other than the card my Mum would shove through the catflap each year. Maybe that’s why I look for love in the little things rather than expecting a man to abseil down the side of my house and swing into my bedroom armed with diamonds, flowers, chocolates and a big fluffy teddy.
This Valentine’s Day, I’m not expecting any romantic gestures of love, but don’t worry about me, I hear Morrison’s are doing ‘buy one get one free’ on cards so I’m going to send myself two this year and really push the boat out. Read more by Alice.
