Monday, 14 December 2009

You talkin' to me?

Though I hate it, I can understand the pushiness of many sales people – at least to some extent. Not taking “no” for an answer is their job, after all. I imagine they all take classes to hone their ability to have an answer for everything. The sales people I encounter are in a different class, though: they’ve taken the Advanced Course in Obnoxiousness, the corresponding manual taking pride of place on their bookshelves for whenever they need a top up.

The latest culprit hailed from mobile firm 3. “But you don’t know what I’m offering,” he countered, in response to my immediate assertion that I was happy with my provider. Of course, I could have belittled him by suggesting that maybe he wanted to sell me a timeshare instead of a mobile contract, but only would have earned a response from his manual. Besides, his fake cheeriness was so aggravating that he deserved nothing more than to be hung up on – so that is exactly what I did.

The satisfaction I took from the abrupt end to the call was tempered by my speculation of how much my mobile provider made from selling my details.

Though these random calls I keep getting are annoying, what is even more annoying is the backchat I get from people who are not even trying to sell me anything. I’m in the right and, yet, finding an answer – no matter how flimsy – seems to be acceptable.

If I tell someone (let’s call him Moron #1) to take his defecating dog off my property, then I expect him to do it – its my property, dammit! Responding with a lie, eg. that the dog is just sniffing, will only result in the belligerent inner me coming to the surface. Note: I didn’t ask what the dog was doing; I said: “GET OFF MY PROPERTY!”

Same goes for ignorant ticket inspectors. Moron #2 wanted to see my ticket when I was already off the bus – yep, disembarked, no longer a passenger. Earphones in and not expecting to be asked for my ticket, I walked straight past the imbecile, only for him to stop me and tell me I should listen to what I didn’t hear from someone who hadn’t shown me any identification. Miss Belligerent came out to play again, treating him to a few choice words and some instruction on how to do his job before letting me get on my way. If Beyoncé can have an alter-ego, so can I.

Moron #3 is a master – he could teach Moronic Behaviour. Somehow assuming that I’m happy to stand at my front door gabbing all day, the idiot actually had a response for my excuse to leave. Bear in mind, this absurd man disturbed me in the middle of the day for no good reason and I told him that I had no time for his nonsense as I was busy cooking. Now any normal person would take this as their cue to leave – Moron #3 asked if I had cooked enough for two! Seriously. Needless to say, he got the door shut in his face.

Is there some sort of consensus that no one should admit being in the wrong? If so, I didn’t get the memo. People seem to assume that they can get their own way by force, and I don’t like it.

My suspicious mind tells me that being a petite woman has something to do with it – I’m sure that a 6’5” male ultimate fighter wouldn’t have experienced such insolence whether he was in the right or not.

People judge me on my looks and never count on my alter-ego. Don’t be fooled. Beware of Miss Belligerent: though she isn’t male, her superpower is retaliation and she does a mean De Niro. Read more by Shermaine.